So, this election has had just about everyone on edge. When we were nearing the edge I made myself some hearty potato soup because sitting down with a bowl of this stuff just warms my soul. Will everything be okay? I don’t know, but this soup makes me feel like I have nothing to worry about.


So we start off with, some onion and celery. I used about one medium red onion and a stalk or so of celery. This isn’t an exact science, like baking; those people are wizards. Now, chop that shit up! Add it to the pan! I used bacon grease to brown because I think it adds a lot of flavor. Hey, we’re making soul food here; not health food. If you’ve got carrots, add those guys too. I don’t have much, but I’d add a carrot or two if I did. Carrots do impart a more brownish color to your final soup, but they are pretty tasty.


I add turnip to my potato soup because it makes me feel more healthy (I’ll take what I can get.) How many other times am I ever going to eat a turnip. (Actually, turnips are pretty cool.) I used two turnips, peeled and chopped into pieces as seen in this trippy photo.


Add some stock! I only have bullion , one veggie and one chicken, so that’s what we’ll do!


Put on the lid and don’t let the existential dread set in. Also, have a glass of wine. (This is kombucha… the wine glass makes me feel fancy)

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So while your turnips are getting steamy, chop up some potatoes. Peel ’em, cut ’em into sticks, and dice those bad boys up. I used 4 potatoes.


I’ll add all my organic waste to my compost bin! I’ll have some pretty nice soil to plant in next spring, not gonna brag or anything. Move over your Halloween decorations so you have counter space for the crock pot, very important. Stab a turnip to see if it’s tender. Once they’re all done, I like to puree all the veggies into a smooth goop. If you don’t puree your veggies you can really pick ’em out and it doesn’t leave a nice texture. So, get out an immersion blender or spoon everything into a blender cup.

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Blend it up! Add it to the crock pot. Add all your taters. Realize that your cheese dip crock pot isn’t big enough and get the actual crock pot. Add another potato just to be safe. Salt and pepper to taste. Potatoes love salt. That’s 5 potatoes total.


Leave it alone for awhile. I left it on high while I was at work for a few hours and came home to a lovely aroma, like I just walked into a tavern from game night. So good, but heavy on the root veggies. Don’t worry, it does not taste this turnipy.  


Get your masher and mash it like a boss. I like a lumpy potato soup, so this is the best way to do it that I’ve found.


See how it’s kinda thin? It’s ready to eat now…. If you like mediocre soup. The best way to get baller soup is to make a rue. It sounds like a pain, but it’s really not that bad. For a rue, you need fat and flour. Easy peasy. If you’re smart, you’ll make your bacon for your soup first. :(I didn’t) What?! Bacon! I didn’t mention bacon. It’s potato soup, people, of course there’s bacon. So chop up your bacon fry it up.

See all that delicious, golden, bacony goodness you have there? Add some flour. Boom. Rue. Start with equal parts bacon grease to flour. Sprinkle flour into the hot grease and stir it up until it’s nice and smooth.

I used a 1/2 cup each on medium heat. The more flour you have, the thicker your soup. I added about 1/4c more flour for extra thickening action, it will get think either way though. Stir that shit up. Don’t let it stick! The longer you cook your rue the more flavor it gets. but it looses it’s thickening power. I don’t want to wait, so this rue is blonde. Come’on, like you can really improve bacon that much? I’m sure darker rues are awesome, but we’re busy people.

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Once you have a nice smooth golden rue, spoon it in a bit at a time along with some heavy cream until you get the thickness you want. Looks gross, I know, but trust me.


See the difference? Thin mediocre potato soup vs baller potato soup.


You have extra rue? Awesome. Scoop that heaven in a bowl and toss it in the fridge. It stays good for a long time and is ah-may-zing for a little extra boom to a dish.

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Add some parsley from the garden, green onions (I like to chop mine with scissors…) , cheese, sour cream, bacon, black beans, whatever you want and you are ready to relax with your totally awesome potato soup and Harvey Wallbanger.


Some brilliant soul made sure that this election day was also National Harvey Wallbanger day. Miracles do happen. Post on Harvey Wallbanger coming soon!  

Make It Better Potato Soup


  • 1 medium red onion, diced
  • 1 or 2 stalks of celery, diced
  • 2 turnips, chopped
  • 2 carrots, diced (optional)
  • Sautee, puree and add to crock pot
  • 5 potatoes, chopped
  • Cook on high until potatoes are tender. Mash.
  • Add about 1/4 rue (1/2c bacon grease to 3/4c flour) and some cream.
  • Handfull of fresh parsley
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • Bacon, cheese, green onion, sour cream, and/or black beans to garnish

Adventure on and survive the Apocalypse–

This is no #struggleplate #thisiswhyimfat #foodcoma #harveywallbangerday


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